DEVEN GREEN is an award-winning musical comedy performer. You know her from the “Welcome To My Home” and “Welcome To My White House” parodies, as the satirical Betty Bowers and performing as a comedic chanteuse in lounges across America. DevenGreen.com
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Dear Deven: I correct my friends’ grammar online. They are irked, but when I see non-words like “anyways,” I don’t want others to repeat the same mistake. Am I wrong? “Exasperated”
You are not wrong, you are incorrect. When you see words such as “anyways,” privately message them. When you correct others publicly, there is a hint of superiority and shame and less of wanting to kindly educate them.
Dear Deven: I don’t mean to be rude to customer service people on the phone but I just lose my temper very quickly. I spend hours on hold then get no resolution so I have to call back. In this sitch, it’s okay to let loose, right? “Aggravated”
If you mean making a smart choice by taking your business elsewhere, then yes. Try calling back a few times and eventually you will find an employee who can actually help you. If not, call up the competition.
Dear Deven: I haven’t been sleeping well because of anxiety. Any thoughts on getting some rest? “Vexed”
Yes, have no thoughts at all! If you spend so much time indulging anxiety in your bedroom you must spend an equal amount of time alleviating it by doing things such as taking a long bath, exercising, getting a massage or discussing the root of it with a professional.
Dear Deven: My partner and I are getting married this summer and would like a classy way to exclude kids/children/infants/toddlers. What words do we use? “Annoyed”
“Both the ceremony and reception are strictly adult only / no children.” This is very clear with no room for confusion. Even more exact is to put specific names on the wedding invites with no “plus 1” next to it.
Dear Deven: I’m dating a younger guy and thought it would be nice to take him on a walk through Piedmont Park. He was on his phone the whole time filming it instead of enjoying it live as it happens! What do I do? “Exasperated”
Hold his hands so he can’t use his phone.
Dear Deven: I’m in a musical choir, and one of the performers is brown-nosing so much I worry that he is going to get some benefits. I feel like I should start doing it too. I need your advice! “Over It”
Stop competing with him. You loathe his behavior, so don’t emulate it. The musical conductor knows what is going on. Have faith that talent will triumph. Now go sing your heart out!
Dear Deven: I am a simple man in a new relationship with someone who does not say, “Thank You.” This may be a deal breaker. Worth sticking around? “Bothered”
Some people truly don’t know good manners. Give him the “My Fair Lady” approach: Simply show him by being a good example.
Dear Deven: The walls are thin, and the neighbors are loud at bedtime. Call the police or the landlord first?“Nettled”
Make your own night music.
Dear Friends: This column is for entertainment purposes…mostly mine. Send me your questions: DevenGreen@gmail.com
Image: Franz Szony / Mua: Joseph Adivari