DEVEN GREEN is an award-winning comedy performer. You know her from the “Welcome To My Home” parodies, as the satirical Betty Bowers – America’s Best Christian, OCCmakeup ads, “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” and performing her live music shows in brothels across America. DevenGreen.com
Dear Deven: I’m a grown man and I can’t swim! “Soping in South Decatur”
I’m sure you know how to negotiate a sauna.
Dear Deven: I’m hosting a pool party. Guidelines? “Particular on Ponce”
If you have great music, people will dance. If you have great food and drinks, people will devour them. If you have inflatable toys people will play with them.
Dear Deven: The hubby and I thought it would be fun to drive across Georgia this summer. Any advice for not getting on each others nerves? “Tension in Tucker”
Dear Deven: I have a small backyard and want to have a BBQ. How can I make this space work? “Cramming in Campbellton”
Have indoor activities such as board games, decorating cupcakes, shaving ice and gossiping. To double your space, include your next-door neighbor!
Dear Deven: I met a great guy. Amazing career, house, car, age appropriate, handsome, witty and charming. One catch: We are going to a summer retreat, and he’s into kink, which is unknown territory for me. What to do? “Perplexed on Piedmont ”
It’s always a challenge to expand your “repertoire.” Have some mutually simple rules, which truly apply to all relationships: No nude photos or videos are to be taken. Be clear on specific boundaries you already know. If you are curious about something explore it one inch at a time. Stretch before you go.
Dear Deven: I get cornered into long conversations at parties and can’t mingle. I don’t wish to be rude, but I also want to meet others. How do I get out of it? ”Rocky in Roswell”
They are the ones being rude! A conversation has balance. If they don’t include you, then pardon yourself by going to the washroom and do not return to them.
Dear Deven: A close couple adopted two young boys, so now when I go over it’s kiddie chaos. How can I spend time with my friends without being a human play station? ”Off kilter near Oglethorpe”
I don’t have children, but I deal with childish men all the time such as yourself. Your friends are the most loving people in the world. It takes a special kind of people to share their life with adopted children. Your energy is impactful and kids can sense resentment, so until you change your attitude don’t go over there. “I believe that children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.”
Dear Deven: Can I throw my own coming out party? ”Free in Fairburn”
I insist! But, please be knowledgeable about your history as this was not an option that long ago. Truly, congratulations, I expect an invite.
Dear Readers, this column is for entertainment purposes…mostly mine. I love each of you the best I can. Email me your questions: DevenGreen@gmail.com
Photo: Reed Davis Photography