DEVEN GREEN is an award-winning musical comedy performer. You know her from the “Welcome To My Home” and “Welcome To My White House” parodies, portraying the satirical Betty Bowers and performing as a comedic chanteuse in lounges across America. Deven has chosen you – congratulations.

Image: Franz Szony / Mua: Joseph Adivari
Special celebrity audio version ONLINE VERSION ONLY: Jack Mackenroth

Dear Deven:
How do I know if the choices I am making are best for me or if I am inadvertently sabotaging myself?
If you find yourself justifying your choice over and over again, then something isn’t quite right. You need to honestly feel at peace with your decisions.

Dear Deven:
I live a lot of life but most times I feel empty like I am just filling up the time with “stuff.” I need something extra. What’s wrong?
It is time to take personal inventory on what you have experienced and then metabolize those lessons. You are not filling yourself up with what you need, you are simply consuming whatever is there. This is akin to “empty calories.”

Dear Deven:
I always ask for advice from all my friends, but they never ask me for my advice. Don’t you think that is a bit rude?
Yes. YOU are rude by relying too heavily on their value system instead of having your own. You need to start making your own decisions, then you can ask them for their opinions, not their answers.

Dear Deven:
I’m an idiot. I made a horrible choice at a bar. How do I forgive myself?
I forgive you if that helps but be good to you by not putting yourself in that position again.

Dear Deven:
We fight over the stupidest things. He constantly says things like, “MOVE OUT!” but I don’t think he really means them. I can’t let go of these arguments though. Should I stay or should I go?
There are consequences to what we all say. Mature adults argue but come to a point of agreement without cutting the other person down. If he doesn’t mean what he says, then why are you still listening?

Dear Deven:
I am dating using online sites, but there are just so many choices I honestly can’t make up my mind. Any guidance?
Try one of each.

Dear Deven:
I ended up getting pressured AGAIN into buying clothes I can’t afford by a sales associate. I feel guilty if I don’t buy them. Why can’t I walk away?
They are emotionally blackmailing you and it is working. You need to ask yourself why you need the approval of a complete stranger. If you walk away empty handed I can guarantee that they will happily greet you the next time you return. Choose YOU not them.

Dear Friends: I do not offer advice, only my experience.
Send me your questions:
PS: Special celebrity audio version: