Photo: Brandon Rizutto
MUA: Gwyneth Bulawsky

DEVEN GREEN is an award-winning comedic chanteuse. See her live show at The Art House (Ptown) Aug 8 & 9, 2020. Full schedule at

Dear Deven
I was ghosted from a guy I met in a bar.  His phone number didn’t even work and he blocked me on social media. Why didn’t he just say he wasn’t interested? “Phony”

He was unable to be truthful with you because it was easier for him to go through the charade of being polite. He is the type of person who avoids all conflict and important discussions.

Dear Deven
I buy clothing that looks lux but it’s cheap.  One of my friends called me out on it.  I feigned being insulted even though he was correct.  Do I need to admit the truth to him?

You seem to care that others perceive you as richer than you actually are.  Why are you willing to defend that position when you both know the truth? Admit the truth to yourself of what you really are: a thrifty shopper!

Dear Deven
I just want to be close to people, so I say I am interested in whatever they are interested in.  Sometimes I will pretend to enjoy hobbies or music just to be around someone.  Is that normal?

You have “new best friend” syndrome…you will do/say anything to assimilate with them. It’s great that you are willing to try new things but if you really don’t want to do something it’s okay to pass on it.  Maybe your friends will join you in something you wish to do. 

Dear Deven
We went to a cabaret show and my friend got tipsy and started heckling/imitating the performer.  I apologized to the performer after the show. My friend re-enacts it all the time now and people laugh. What do you think?

People came to see the performer not your disrespectful “friend.”  You apologized for someone who doesn’t think they have done anything wrong.  The right thing to do is not to put yourself in that position again.

Dear Deven
Every time I order something online it’s not quite as described, and I have to send it back and leave a negative review.  I feel I should be compensated, don’t you?

“Rip Off”
You didn’t have to pay for the shipping and the company has refunded your money.  That seems more than fair. It would add balance to your life to leave a positive review when a company is up to your liking. I suggest you read all the reviews before making a purchase to avoid being so easily frustrated.

Dear Deven
I’m shocked.  I bought crab meat, but it was noted by my guests that it was actually surimi, ground up meat of other seafood.  I can’t. I just can’t.   

You have and you will. Now get back to serving fish.

Dear Friends, I only offer my experience for your entertainment.