DEVEN GREEN is an award-winning comedy performer. You know her from the “Welcome To My Home” parodies, as the satirical Betty Bowers – America’s Best Christian, OCCmakeup ads, “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” World of Wonder, and performing her live music shows in brothels across America. DevenGreen.com
Dear Deven: I am dating an older man. Anything I should be aware of? “Coddled in Cobb”
Yes, your Daddy issue trumps your Oedipus Complex! You attract what you need to conquer, and it’s usually something that you never mastered in your childhood. Try not to completely use others for your own therapy.
Dear Deven: I have no motivation to clean up my place. Will you light a fire under me? “Burning in Buford”
Throw money at this problem by hiring a maid. I sense your place is cluttered, which is a direct reflection of where your mind is. Pick up one object right now. If you have used it in the past year put it down – it may stay. Keep what you need and let the rest go.
Dear Deven: I’m really into rich men, but I hate accompanying them on business trips. What should I do? “Tripping in Thomaston”
If you don’t want to be seen as arm candy, consider creating your own life and stop complaining about relying on the “kindness of strangers.” At least work on a skill so you have a fall back plan when this one expires. I’ve got it! Have these rich men pay for your education.
Dear Deven: I want to kiss my partner in public. Is that so wrong? “Did It in Dunwoody”
You don’t want my opinion, you want to be “right.” My answer will only serve to feed your power control issues. A clever man can make even the simplest of touches titillating.
Dear Deven: I think there is a guy at work that likes me. Can I ask him if he is gay? “Occupied in Old Fourth Ward”
Take out your big magnifying glass and search for clues. No you cannot ask him! Work on a great professional relationship and chill out on being an office predator.
Dear Deven: My straight friends always want to give me dating advice even though they know I’m gay. How can I tell them to stop? “Arrested in Alpharetta”
Be thankful that they care at all about your hook-ups. Does it matter what their sexual orientation is? As an example, I don’t take financial advice from people who make less money than I do no matter whom they sleep with. Check the source.
Dear Deven: I never get a full night’s sleep when someone else is in bed. Is this common? “Dozing in Doraville”
Yes, it is common when your mind is in overdrive. Lay there and think of one beautiful moment you are thankful for in your life. Close your eyes and be grateful. You may actually go back to sleep with a smile on your face. Then, when you wake up, you can figure out where the hell you are and get on home.
Send me your questions: DevenGreen@gmail.com
Photo: Reed Davis Photography